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The Ballad of Craig Fitzgerald part 3

[overhead one of them cellphone songs are playing. the fancy kinds with the piano and the fiddles. its pretty nice. i’m hurting, don’t think i’m injured tho. either i’m getting used to this or we are home.]

Jermy hold dis.

[he’s naked. we ain’t home.]

Whats this and where are we?

I’ve been casin this place for a coupl hours

They got some equipmen here these college boys would go nuts over.

Craig yer nuts are over a lot of things in here put some god forsaken pants on.

They don’ got pants here. they got dresses and I ain’t doin it.

Not bringing it up again, thats my damn fault. What are we looking for?

Your gonna love this Jermy. What doe these book learnin football plaers need to be successful at University? They need to write a bunch of words and they need the ass you get from a strong lower body. Them renassanch folks made a thing that will do both.  I need it, and I aint leavin without it. I heard some nerds talking about it at Harverd.  Its a printing press. These smart sumbitches figured out how to get your words done and leg press some gohdern plates Jermy.  They did it Jermy.  Must’ve been some smart strong motherfuckers back now Jermy.

a godhern book thing

We got a budget for the weight room Craig we don’t gotta time travel and steal inventions.

Muhrland didn’t have any issues with me tak…

Load the goddamn thing up Craig I ain’t playin with you..

[something falls in the corner. I don’t think we’re alone.]

A man dress wearing figure steps out from the shadows.

Mi dispiace. Non intendo interferire con ciò che i teppisti sono qui per rubare. Sono un semplice inventore fallito e non voglio problemi. Ti lascerò solo.

(Craig points at the printin press.) Where are your plates? 45’s only unles you got wheels?

Piatti? No Signore. Lo comprerai?

I understan that one Jermy; hes out of pizza and wont give us weights.

Dress guy walks over to a table and shows us some cartoons he drawed of the printin press. He keeps pointing and jibbering about the little square “pizzas” in his book. He paused and started laugh crying. Strangest thing I’ve ever damn seen. But then I notice I’m in a room with to men and I’m the only one with enough decency to have some goddern pants on. Dress guy gives me a defeated smile, motions to the machine and tells us to take it.

Rebuilt the whole damn gym around it too.

This shit better work.

Part 1 –

Part 2 –


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